i’m terribly bored at work today. but fortunately i have been saved from improper thinking. at least i think i have. today i received a package. it was a cylinder assembly and piston for rebuilding the engine of my chainsaw.
it’s a saw with a story. i was a dork in high school. i liked girls. girls didn’t like me. i went to college and found a girl i really liked and to my great surprise, she liked me, too! we dated for two semesters. then she broke up with me. i was devastated. so i consoled myself with the purchase of the largest chainsaw available in the area. 75cc engine. it could do some work. it served me well for years. but as with most engines, it gave out last summer.
well, today the transplant arrived and i hope that tonight the surgery is successful and Frankenstein rises. oh, did i mention that the replacement cylinder is a bit larger; that means more horsepower.
dad and i are going to work on it. my dad and i are a lot alike and also quite different. we’ve never been super close because it’s not in either of our personalities to be great at being open and communicating what goes on behind our eyes. we can both articulate ideas well and have rather a natural gift for teaching, but we’re both great at bottling our emotions. i never “blow up” i just bear it. very unhealthy.
it’s funny, but one of the parts i ordered for the saw is a compression release valve that makes the engine easier to crank. i’ve come close to having compression releases: running, alcohol, reading, etc. none of them have ever been perfect. never has the pressure been fully released.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11.28-30
and there it is. the release. it’s hard to learn to release. it’s hard to give up the load, the burden, that seems to be such an integral part of me. i’m so good at making burdens out of promises like this one that are meant to free us.
i want to feel the release. i want to be free of the pressure i create within.
you release the pressure so the engine cranks more easily. once started, the engine is continually containing tiny explosions that create pressure that cause the saw to do work. hmmm..... explosions and pressure harnessed in order to accomplish good, productive work and labor.
perhaps, at times, the inner pressure could be a good thing.
who knows?
He knows.
No comments:
Post a Comment